Everyone has one – a pet peeve – the little thing that makes you really angry. It’s easy to find these daily challenges that irk us. How about the drivers that cut you off or run red lights? Or the cashiers who can’t make change? If you’re married, something your spouse does might bug you. If you’re a parent, you could feel irritated when your kids don’t do what you ask. I used to find dirty socks in weird places when my oldest son lived at home. Finding them under the kitchen table was especially annoying.
I have a pet peeve (not the dirty socks) and it makes me angry. I know my anger isn’t productive. Neither are the thoughts that race through my mind when I encounter my pet peeve. I thought I’d share my pet peeve with you, along with a tapping script to relieve the anger and frustration I feel when it happens. I hope you find this useful when you tap. Don’t forget to substitute your own pet peeve for mine.
My pet peeve happens a lot in my life because I live in a very walkable city. I love to get out and take an invigorating walk. I love to say hello to other walkers, smile at cute dogs, chuckle at small children out enjoying the day. What angers me is a distinct lack of politeness on the walkways today. I’ve encountered folks walking toward me, three abreast, who refuse to move and allow me to pass on very narrow sidewalks. I am happy to scoot over for oncoming traffic but it seems like I’m the only one. I don’t know if these pedestrians consciously decide to be rude or if they truly aren’t aware of how frustrating their behavior is to others, but I refuse to allow these individuals to make my walk a torture. That’s why it’s important that I let go of my anger, unless I want to undo all the good I’ve done by heading out for some exercise.
My pet peeve may sound silly to you, but that’s the way with pet peeves. They’re personal and may sound petty or foolish to another. That doesn’t matter at all. What matters is how you feel and what you can do to let go of those feelings. I don’t want to diminish pet peeves. Sometimes what makes you angry is something dangerous, like the driver who is so rushed he or she runs that red light. Someone, even you, could have been hurt because of his or her behavior. No matter the magnitude of your gripe, holding onto anger isn’t constructive, so let’s set about letting it go.
If you’re not familiar with EFT or Tapping, click here. You’ll be redirected to the front page of the EFT Books For You website. There you’ll find tapping instructions and even a how-to video. In our books, Tapped Out for College Students: Stress Relief Using EFT, and Tapped Out: A Guided Journal Using EFT to Overcome Stress, we introduced our system of four steps to get you ready to tap. We call it the BESD, and here’s how it works.
Using the BESD is the easiest way to determine what you want to tap about.
- B is for Because or the situation that has triggered your response or emotion
- E is for the Emotion associated with the Because
- S is for any physical Sensations you notice due to the Emotions you’re experiencing
- D is for Distress, or the level of distress you’re feeling rated from 1 (low distress) to 10 (high distress).
Now is the time to take a moment to determine your BESD. Begin with a deep breath. You might want to close your eyes so you can focus on what’s truly bugging you. When you rate your level of distress, use the first number that pops into your head. Once you’ve determined your BESD, jot down what you’ve discovered. You’re ready to tap.
- Because: Other walkers are rude and won’t make way
- Emotion: Anger
- Sensation: Pounding heartbeat, breathless
- Distress: 0-10
KC: Even though I feel angry because other walkers won’t make way for me when I’m out for my exercise… it feels like I’m the only one who moves over and that makes me mad… people can be so rude… I accept myself and all of my feelings. (repeat three times)
EB: I feel very angry
SE: Other walkers are very rude
UE: I’m the only one who moves over to make way for people on the sidewalk
UN: Everyone else blocks the path and refuses to scoot
CP: I am so angry when this happens
CB: My heart pounds and I get a little breathless
UA: I don’t understand why other walkers can’t be polite and move over a little
TH: Or walk single file if someone else is approaching
EB: But they don’t and it’s rude
SE: I get so angry when I’m out on my walk and other walkers take up the entire sidewalk
UE: I feel like they don’t care if I have to walk in traffic
UN: It’s as if they think only they have a right to be out on the sidewalk
CP: Their rude behavior makes me angry and my heart pounds
CB: I know my anger isn’t productive… it destroys the pleasure of my walk
UA: I am open to releasing the anger and my pounding heartbeat… to just letting it go
TH: I choose to enjoy my walk whether other walkers move or not
Tap down your level of distress and check in to see what you feel. If you need to, continue tapping. Aim to bring your level of distress down to a 2 or below. A zero is great if you can get there.
Be sure to pick up a copy of Tapped Out: A Guided Journal Using EFT to Overcome Stress. Our journal is the perfect guide to creating your own EFT tapping sessions.